20 May 07

Time:

?

Money:

$13, breakfast ordered in, Annie's.

More interesting things:

Enjoyed a really, really nice dinner with Rebecca, Anne, Girts, Ben, Brenan, and Emily at that wicked cool little Italian place I'm so fond of. Thanks, Rebecca, for setting it up, and thanks all you guys for coming - it was fun!

19 May 07

Time:

?

Money:

?

More interesting things:

Passed, on my way to the gym, a little girly-girl wearing a red Santa Monica Beach lifeguard sweatshirt; I caught her eyeing my lifeguard t-shirt and wanted so badly to respond that once I'd walked past her I couldn't help but grunt, "Yeah, and mine's for real, chicky!"

Enjoyed a lovely interview, some red velvet cake, and a new coffee spot with Anne. Thanks, dude!

18 May 07

Time:

?

Money:

?

More interesting things:

Walked to the subway past a middle-aged man who looked like his face was carved from polished walnut or something. Not in a bad way, like he had no expression, but in a very cool-looking way, like his features were well-defined and his skin was glowing and medium-dark. Pretty nifty.

Discovered, in a tremendously frustrating and unusual look at my phone once I was on the subway, that I had missed a call from Professor Alpha. I wanted to stop and grab Rebecca's phone charger from her office and drop it off before calling him back, so I reined in my interest in calling him and took care of that first (poor lady's NOT feeling well). I decided I couldn't wait all the way until I got to my desk, though, so I rang him back as I walked along Washington Square South. We discussed the emails I was getting ready to send out and then moved on to how Rebecca was doing; he said she'd be okay because I was looking out for her, to which I agreed very drily, and then he added - laughing like a loon - "Ah yes! Nurse R.! I think that's just the right role for you, isn't it?" Har.

Rode the subway back uptown with the Friday Afternoon Freak Show. Part of it, I have to admit, had to do with the ridiculous advertisement I saw: I always knew that Flip crap Dr. W. dragged us to was a bunch of baloney, but now it appears he's got a self-help book endorsed by the president of NBC Sports or something. Wow. I'm so impressed. Mostly by the fact that it was pretty clear from the start that this dude was some kind of package-selling person - I don't mind self-help writers, but I do mind if they go around masquerading as educators in order to break into that genre! The rest of the freak show involved, for the most part, these two bizarre little seventh-graders (or whatever), one of whom was this furry little red-headed boy, the other of whom was a baggy-pantsed, skull-and-crossbones-do-rag-wearing person who had clearly gone out of her (it turns out) way to make it difficult to tell. They darted around through the decent-sized crowd in the car, stuffed food in their mouths and chewed it like angry horses, and waited (this was the real classy one in the do-rag) for an express train to get next to ours before waving a middle finger back and forth in the window. Oy. And then there were all the other tired masses, some who were putting up with the weirdness, some who didn't know it was there, and some who tried in a very urgent but also very delayed effort to escape it at 77th Street (that was the final oddity, a guy who leapt from his seat, trying to get off the train, but didn't make it out. Usually it's the other way around.) Anyway, by this time I should know better than to expect normalcy on the Friday afternoon train, and also better than to think I won't find it amusing....

Walked down my street past a maroon F150 that otherwise looked just like my mom's, right down to the eagle decal - and it had a New York plate: very unusual.

Got three lovely birthday cards, from my dad, my grandparents, and my Proteach friend Heidi. Pretty nice haul for one afternoon's mailbox checking!

Got also a lovely IM from Roommate Ben, agreeing enthusiastically not only to go out to dinner but to take me to dinner. Thanks, Ben - I really enjoyed it!

Listened to iTunes as I got ready to go to the gym (hooray!) "Any Day Now" came on, and it was amusing how fast it reminded me of playing Tony Hawk with my little sister. (It also reminded me that it's a great song.)

17 May 07

Time:

?

Money:

?

More interesting things:

Had to explain to Professor Alpha why his extremely well-conceived interview question got put to use on someone besides Professor Number Five, which was a good reason to keep chatting while we waited for the DVD to burn. I believe I described my participant as a horndog, which was amusing because while he could easily have responded with, "Well, what did HE say?", Alpha came back with, "Oh yes? And what did the horndog say? Who is this horndog?" Har.

Trotted once again to the drugstore. They didn't have the prescription right, which was frustrating, but my own sense of irritation was tempered very much by the fact that on our way in, Professor Alpha had waved hello to the ATM. I'd asked him what he was doing, since it was totally unclear to me, and that explanation was followed by another: "I don't know, I'm sort of nutsy today." Which he added to by greeting an old woman in a wheelchair and her companion as enthusiastically as if he knew them. We squeezed by them (and their surprised but friendly responses) and I informed Alpha, in an undertone, that he was lucky I liked nuts; his absolutely correct reply was, "Yes, because you feel right at home." Then, standing interminably near the counter, he wandered back and forth and back again - to the formula, which was, suggestively, parked right next to the damn condoms. I tried hard not to snort, and in place of that came up with a fascinating question about whether he was particularly interested in formula, which got an equally fascinating and rather weird comment that he just didn't know what Next Step was. Uh-huh. At last he decided that we were not going to stand around any more, and led me back out the door in the direction of lunch.

Figured, correctly, that the "direction of lunch" meant "towards Chipotle." I grabbed two forks, since Professor Alpha has been known to forget such things, and he had been so invested in getting a lemon for his soda that I thought he might do so then. I predicted well, and responded to his "Well, it probably would have been nice if I had gotten myself a fork," by handing him one, with the result that he sort of shook his head and asked (rhetorically, duh) how he'd quite made it through the past 38 years, which is always an amusing comment to hear. Anyway, we sat and chatted for quite awhile - I'm getting better at asking fruitful questions; Professor Number Five should be proud! - and headed back to the frickin' drugstore.

Collected, at long last, Professor Alpha's prescription, and left, in a yet another snortworthy turn, via not just the condom aisle but that of the tampons. Excellent, and lovely of them to gather up everything you never thought you'd be escorting your professor past into a single long walk. The internal snorting was fine, of course - mildly amusing and then on with the day. But the really cool part is that an hour before we'd been sitting in his office and got up together on the announcement of his plan to go for another walk and get lunch. It would seem he knows how fond of him I am, since he assumes (quite rightly) that I'm agreeable to such plans, and it would also seem that at least for a decent part of the time he prefers my company over being by himself, since he certainly knows where the drugstore is and would have every reason in the world to want to avoid a medicine-related audience. And that's what makes all the above comments worth recording. (In case you were wondering, I mean.)

Stood in Professor Number Four's door getting news I wasn't entirely thrilled about - something involving next year's assistantship and Professor Fluffy Hair, who is a lovely person I'm sure, but anyway - and feeling a little better about it because Professor Alpha-and-a-Half came up behind me, petted my shoulder, and asked Number Four if it wasn't lovely that I was there. I'm going to have to make a point of reminding her how much I appreciate her sometime soon, because, of course, I really do.

Sat reading - at his invitation, thank you - an email Professor Alpha was composing. Patrick came by, making fun of me and my current activity in some way, causing me to crack up, since I knew the contents of his last email. Alpha did not, of course, and jumped in by explaining that I was in fact working, and that, furthermore, what he'd said earlier (while we were at lunch, thanks to the fork thing) about his level of efficiency was completely true. Hee!

16 May 07

Time:

?

Money:

?

More interesting things:

Followed Professor Alpha to the drugstore. This is not the first time I've trotted after him, ear affixed firmly to one or the other of his shoulders - that's listening range - while the rest of my body dodged trees, cars, pedestrians, homeless people, strollers, and dogs, among other things to trip on, and not even the first time I've done that as we headed towards a place where audiences are generally unappreciated (the bank comes to mind.) And of course, it's not as if I haven't made many, many copies of what his insurance papers indicate are the sum total of his prescriptions. All the same, I have to admit to a speck-bit of relief when he announced, in an unrestrained tone, that he'd forgotten the new fucking prescription, fuck. Instead, we hunted down a particular brand of conditioner (no dice), a particular type of baby shampoo (not so much), and toothpick-thingies (and batted one-for-four; it was, however, an easy thousand in terms of amusement.)

Explained my interview assignment to Professor Alpha, who suggested that since I was in a situation where I'd have to interview Professor Number Five I ought to make it as Number Five-ish as possible. The thing I really appreciated was the time and genuine consideration he took in coming up with an opening question (one more demonstration of his concern for us and his membership in a familiar community), but the question itself was something I could really use: nothing to sneeze in that regard, either.

Hosted, partly, a particularly well-attended instance of the Social Corner. While Anne, Rebecca, and Annette all floated around, I messed with the Simpsons on Professor Alpha's computer and - more interestingly - answered his call to my cell, in which he asked whether I'd like an iced coffee. The answer, of course, was yes (it was disgustingly hot out, not that I wouldn't have taken it anyway), which was followed by questions for the remaining individuals. Would Anne like some? No, Anne just got one of her own. Okay, would Rebecca like some? No, Rebecca already has a jug of some iced beverage. How about Annette? No, Annette is working on a Pepsi. Just you and me, then? Yep, just you and me then, but thank you, and you're a lovely person. (That very last part I think I left off, but then again, maybe not....) This doesn't particularly go under the New Yorkers ARE Polite Campaign, but at this point - duh - it seems like the How Could You Miss the Community? Campaign is one I probably oughta start. (Its subtitle could be something like, "Concepts for a Dean with No Eyeballs.")

Watched as some Florida-worthy wind, rain, and green-sky made their arrival at the corner of Washington Place and Greene; chatted with Professor Alpha as he decided to sit back down rather than head at that moment for the subway. Eventually he determined that he'd just have to brave the weather, though, and I was grateful for his call announcing that he'd made it to the station and then to Grand Central for more than the usual hee!/familiarity reasons - it really was crazy out there.

15 May 07

Time:

?

Money:

?

More interesting things:

Met a student whom Professor Alpha had just signed up for my section of the summer class. This would have been nice regardless; it was particularly interesting because "I've just signed you up for [my] course, you'll love it," was directed at a middle-aged guy in collared shirt and Dockers who was "Thank you, Professor"-ing all over the place - but was meant to describe a still-days-off-27 chick in scruffy lifeguard t-shirt who snorts with just plain Alpha. It was not hard to understand the underwhelmed look on this person's face, but it was rather difficult to avoid laughing while I stood there. (Even better, though, was that later, when I related my perspective on this tale to Alpha, and he looked like he was all ready for a good story, he seemed kind of underwhelmed himself with what I described: it really does not enter his head that the contents of my closet or the date on my driver's license should in any way be expected to correlate with what's going on in my head or my classroom, and that somebody else might is just their problem.)

Appreciated and returned an enthusiastic wave from one of Anne's students, who was waiting for the elevator on our floor.

Attempted to meet with Professor Number One at 1330, as directed, but found that she was being hogged by Professors Alpha and Number Four, who had gotten there literally steps ahead of me (Alpha and I had gone up together, actually.) Number Four came back to get something from his office, near which I waited rather patiently, I thought, and asked whether I was meeting Number One at 1330. "Ye-es?" I answered. "No," he answered, "you're not. Hee hee. We'll let you know when you can come back." This, of course, could have been a prime eavesdropping moment, but there was too much other noise and no reasonable way for me to get closer (that hallway does not exactly offer a lot of security and/or excuses for someone who's not supposed to be standing in it!) so instead I just rested my head on top of a filing cabinet next to this half-brown plant I picked at for half an hour (!), inspiring Miss L. to ask whether among my other duties I was now also going to tend to their plants. Mm, no. I'm going to stick to professor-chasing, which I did once they'd all vacated Number One's office, trotting after Number Four with a paper I'd been told was his. Nope, he told me, it's Alpha's. Well, it wasn't, actually; Alpha sent me back to Number Four, and to head off any commentary about going back to someone else once again, I explained to Number Four that he was getting the paper because Alpha was bigger and therefore more capable of beating me up. In what may have been the highlight of my day, Number Four put his hands on his hips, cocked his head, and said, "Hey, don't be so sure, now!"

Got invited, along with my compatriots (although I don't think they know it yet...), to Professor Number One's Fourth of July party, where, I'm told, everyone talks and eats and talks some more, until a certain moment where they all get quiet and face the windows, and you can watch the freakin' fireworks from her apartment.

Met another professor - an adjunct, with crazy curly red-and-silver hair; I don't think I can afford to give her a code name 'cause I'll probably forget what it is - near the elevator heading down, and was complimented once again on our party presentation. I'm very, very glad that it came across in a way they all appreciate so much - and of course, I'm even more glad that it came across in a way our people appreciated so much.

14 May 07

Time:

?

Money:

?

More interesting things:

Handed off one last little chunk of money to the Tea-Drinking Professor (not Professor Number Four, who also drinks tea, but the one whose heritage maybe sort of demands it) and was told, "Again, you really did a wonderful job on Thursday; in fact, who was just telling me that they thought you spoke so well?" I don't know the answer to that question, but I'll gladly take the compliment regardless!

13 May 07

Time:

?

Money:

?

More interesting things:

Enjoyed a nice relaxing birthday/Mother's Day Sunday at home.

Ate pumpkin cake. (You could file this under the above note, but I think it deserves its own.)

12 May 07

Time:

?

Money:

?

More interesting things:

Waited, impatiently and overheated, for the airport shuttle. It was just too hot to stand in the hallway as I usually do, so I compromised and stood in the doorway - with the door to the street open - instead, which was much more pleasant except for the part where I was looking not just for the van but also for seriously drunk guys who might think I was holding the door open for them: yecch. The neat thing was that the doorman across the street saw me and waved animatedly, so he could be sure I'd seen him; I didn't know whether his demonstration that he was watching me was meant to be a reassurance or a warning until he next pantomimed an offer for me to walk over there and wait for my ride with him. Pretty freakin' cool, for this "hard" city of "anonymity" etc.!

Rode up to - eh - Columbia to pick up a kid waiting outside one of the little dorm compounds and blazed (the driver was a bit of a maniac) past TC. And to think I almost ended up there... it gives me the shakes.

Crossed town at 125th Street, passing the train station, the supermarket, and the rumble. Give me a fucking break, people. If you're going to run when the cops show up or - more pansyish yet - brass knuckles start flying, here's a tip for you: don't drag your happy ass out at 4:00 in the morning to start with! You think they're having a street fair down there, for chrissake? I mean, don't get me wrong - it was quite interesting, in a watching-animals-fight-at-the-zoo kind of way, but really. Come on.

Sat near a group of five headed out on vacation - it was a mom, a dad, a son, and a daughter and maybe another son, although it seemed like it could have been a future son-in-law sitting there at the end. Anyway, I saw a good kindergarten-related trick: with the announcement that if anyone had printed out their tickets on big paper, it would be helpful to tear off just the important part, an airline worker turned this family into a bunch of five-year-olds studiously creating origami. I almost laughed out loud, but that would have looked kind of funny.

Saw - and I have it written in after the ticket-tearing business, which would seem to imply that somehow I did my seeing at the airport - the Hell Gate bridge... and it looked just like my favorite rabbit picture!

11 May 07

Time:

?

Money:

$2.50, charge associated with using one-half of my free plane tickets, JetBlue.
$224 (or so), charge associated with keeping the other half of my free plane tickets open, JetBlue.

More interesting things:

Answered a call from Professor Alpha as I sat rather sweatily in the hall waiting to watch one of my student-teachers. We talked about some stuff he needed to print, and then he sounded like he was about to ask an important question: "So, uhh, listen... do you REALLY want me to put this chair in your office [a kind description!]? I mean, you know..." and here I had to cut him off a little; he sounded kind of tortured, and I was cracking up. I explained that we really didn't care if he wanted to put it on the ROOF or something, that it had mainly been a prop for our speech, but then he cut me off and said that he actually did want to take it "to the country, it'll be USEful there," which I thought was a dignified job for a chair that might never even have gotten sat in. At any rate, the conversation progressed from there. He said he'd really enjoyed the party... and that it was generous of me to include myself in the "nosy" category I had described, causing me, obviously, to cackle away sheepishly. I TRIED to talk that one away, but it didn't work - and you know what? He was cackling away himself.

Spotted, on my way up West Fourth back to the office, Professor Bravo, who was on his cell phone and waved! Holy crap. I don't usually get a wave even when he's not involved with the phone, so that was one for the books for sure.

10 May 07

Time:

?

Money:

$18, nametages, Staples (that much I know, although I was also prepared to slip the bartender an extra twenty if he'd had to go fetch ice from somewhere besides the hallway I'd been told I could steal it from.)

More interesting things:

Rode down rain-fuzzy-green Park Avenue as part of the first time I have ever taken a cab from my apartment (well, pretty much; it was the sporting goods store, actually) all the way to school. We passed what was absolutely the largest pack of dogs I’ve ever seen attached to a single dog walker, and spent a little time discussing the cabby’s opinions: it is way nicer to drive in South Bronx than in Manhattan, for instance, and also undertaking makes a fine weekend pursuit (this last was illustrated by lengthy comments on how the preparation of bodies for burial is different from getting them ready for cremation.) I’d say “Only in New York,” but that’s so obvious as to be a waste of breath!

Walked halfway around the sunny, green, and carefully fenced-in park. The grads weren’t even there yet, but that same air of expectant celebration hung buoyantly over all: you’d think by now I would know that that’s just the graduation feel, so now, here, in writing – I get it! And I’m glad I’m signing up for a gig where I get to see it every year.

Foiled my own blog-writing (although that was just now, not on the 10th.) That last note was supposed to be about the Golden Retriever pup I passed on my way back to the office after my trip around the park. He was one of those hefty little bear pups, just like mine was – a proper Golden baby.

Snuck up, repeatedly, on Professor Abercrombie, who was listening to the graduation webcast as staff from both this and the sixth floors put together our little lobbyish area for the department graduation party. As he explained where to find it online, Miss L. called back and asked me to come put it on up front so they could listen while they decorated. I did so, and then stayed to listen myself – my computer has no speakers and (holy crap) Wynton freaking Marsalis played his trumpet for ten minutes in his version of an honorary-doctorate acceptance speech. After a little bit, I headed back to my own desk, but not before stopping to think about how things in this city – here I’m thinking of the River Café and department-sanctioned graduation parties – often manage to combine two characteristics a lot of boring people think don’t particularly go together: “nice” and “classy.”

Fixed up the nametags. I was pretty sure I had everybody - as it turned out, I was, as they say, close enough for government work - but for the life of me I could not remember Professor Number One's kids' names, even though they'd been on the envelope she had handed me earlier in the week. So I asked Professor Abercrombie, who threw back, "What, I'm supposed to know that? I've only known her thirty years!" Ha.

Stood, goofily, near Miss L., who was pouring wine at the graduation party (and only did that much because Miss J. rooted me out at my desk, grabbed my wrist, and threaded me around the back hall and into the big conference room before parking me in front of the sandwiches and waiting for me to pick one.) After a little rooster wine (!) and some more standing around, however, two things happened. One was that Professor Number Six's Fateful Day Visitor came to chat, with all appearances of having decided to do so purposefully. The other was that Professor Number Six himself came to chat, with the same appearances. (Although this, I'm fortunate enough to say, wasn't maybe quite as surprising.) Anyway, I was wearing my green drill team t-shirt (which explains, in part, why I hadn't gotten up and come out earlier - any clothing item that features a drawing of a rifle should probably not be seen in the same room as graduation robes and neckties), which he asked about; only then did it occur to me that Number Six is one person I hadn't told about my mental proximity to West Point. This gave F. Hardy the opportunity to harass me - some comment about the shined boots I wear for supervising; my big brother, I swear - and Number Six the inspiration to say, "Hmmm... the military, huh? Yeah... I can see that! That explains a lot... the 'sir' stuff and all that." [Nod, nod, nod.] Of course, it DOESN'T. It explains my obsession with punctuality and (partly) my fondness for public speaking, but not the "sir" stuff. Someday, somewhere, someone will believe me about that. (Well, if I can convince whoever it is to move in with my family for awhile - it would become obvious how NOT sir-ish all those sir's really are!)

Hopped out of my chair so Professor Alpha could sit down - and, as it happened, stay down for a few minutes. This would have been fine with me regardless, obviously, but it was particularly nice then because we got into an ice discussion. He asked if there were a plan to get it, Marisa and I sort of announced simultaneously that I had that aspect of things under control, and he looked up at me from under his eyebrows: "You've got it? You're in charge of the ice? So you're the ice queen?" This last was delivered in that just-this-side-of-the-gutter voice which required me, I was pretty sure, to respond with a nose-laugh; I decided I was probably right when his next comment was, "Because you know, I wouldn't have thought that about you! turkey noise turkey noise turkey noise."

Announced to Professor Alpha that I was sending an email from his account and justified the announcement by explaining that while there may be lots of things I don't need to ask permission for (this in light of some conversation earlier in the week, when I'd unnecessarily announced something else - who knows what), I was not particularly crazy about just ASSUMING that it was okay to PRETEND to be Alpha via email. But he leaned back in his chair, put his hands up like he was getting ready to catch a big heavy ball, looked out from under his eyebrows, and gave me the say-the-word-'fish' voice: "You wanna be me? If you wanna be me, you can go ahead and be me, babe, any time you want, believe me." Ha again.

Listened to a small part of and just barely suppressed my laughter at a phone conversation in which Professor Alpha included the sentence, "Well, he's an evil little dwarf, if ever there was one." (Okay, I might have snorted.)

Gestured, brusquely, for Anne to move over while I grabbed party beer from the corner of Professor Alpha's office and followed that with a howly directive for her to sit back down and rest her cold-cultivating self instead of participating in the beer-schlep (which she ignored); it may have been this combination of utterly comfortable familiarity, mutual concern for the other party, and willingness to help out even at a less-than-ideal moment that inspired Alpha to observe for the three of us (Marisa had been in the hall) something so nice it's hard to respond to. From under his eyebrows, once again, he said, "I mean, I know I've said this before, but really, it's just so nice - I think it's so great that you all have found each other [this, that, and the other thing] and... you're a nice group. You're a really good group." And as weighty a job as it seemed to reply, we did remind him that it's pretty much all of us T&L people who get along so well and that, furthermore, he and his people - our people! - set an awfully good example. What I didn't mention - what I didn't consider specifically with regard to this exchange until now, actually - was that in talking about the results of one example he helped set, he provided another one, on how to be a genuine and honest and affectionate leader. A hard row to hoe, but one I'll be glad to take up.

Mentioned to Professor Alpha, as the general conversation turned to our plans for finishing the sweaty work and then getting changed, that I would not just be wearing a real shirt but also heels; I got the appropriately impressed response, and one which led to a small conversation between Anne and him about shopping, I think.

Found myself really glad that I didn't have a key to Professor Alpha's office in my back pocket. We had run back to accomplish the aforementioned changing mission, only to discover that Alpha's door was closed. Anne kind of jiggled the handle and made an apparently vague-at-best effort to look into the office through the little window before I took off for the front and the drawer which I knew held the key. I got back, found the right one, turned it in the lock... and discovered Alpha doing his last shirt button: holy crap. I'm not totally sure why he didn't indicate that there was no need to unlock it from the outside - could it have anything to do with the fact that it's his office, for chrissakes? duh! - but man am I glad it took me a second to get to the secretaries' desks and back!

Stood with Mrs. Professor Number Four - a very, VERY nice lady - and, after a couple of comments about how Professor Number Four reminded me of my grandfather and all that (which she really seemed to appreciate), helped her find him. He was talking to a lady that neither I nor Mrs. Number Four recognized, which was fine; the amusing part came when I explained my unhelpfulness - "Well, it's long silver hair, and when you're talking about professors, that could be anyone..." - and she bust out laughing. (And warning me: "You better be careful! Someday YOU'RE going to be a professor, and YOU'RE going to have long silver hair!" But she cut herself short and got very serious all of a sudden. "No," she reconsidered. "Don't go gray. Go blonde. Blonde is much better," so on and so forth. By this time Anne and Marisa had joined us, allowing the whole trio to catch certain observations about men on the street and so on, along with the assertion that as long as Number Four came home to do the gardening he was certainly allowed to teach us a class in the spring and an invitation to their house for an individualized party reprise. I hope that happens. It'd be fun.)

Got, to add to the day's earnestness (oh yeah, Marisa and I had a very nice conversation about how we really felt lucky to get the chance to do so much for the party, even if the Party Professor was insane), one of the nicest responses to the whole thing I could possibly have asked for. Anne and I were standing near Professor Number Four in this photograph F. Hardy organized, and we kind of just stayed there for a bit afterwards. Number Four mentioned that he'd really enjoyed the whole thing, especially in comparison to a retirement party he'd been to last week for someone in another department which had included "just one student! What kind of a party is that? It was an obituary, okay?" Then he added - and here's where I nearly fell over, nothing to do with the wine - "This party was better, and I know Alpha said exactly the same thing to me earlier, right, this party was better than if somebody gave me 400 gold watches, okay?" all of which he concluded with that kind of eyebrows-barely-up, head-barely-cocked, lips-almost-smiling expression he has. Earlier in the evening, we'd gotten a LOT of extremely flattering comments about our presentation, ranging from a big furry kiss from Professor Alpha as he accepted his chair to claps on the back and - holy shit - "You represented ALL of us [grads] exactly as we would have wanted," but the 400 gold watches beats them all, I think.

Hovered my Big Ol' Shopping Bag o' Beer, at the cost of great effort from my right bicep, over the Party Professor's cart; at first I hadn't just plopped it down because we were making sure everything was nice and flat, but then it became more an issue of the Party Prof tossing in a bag of, like, crepe paper, completely oblivious to our organizing efforts. My answer to this was to say, quietly, "Hm, never mind, " while continuing to hover for good effect, with the incredible result that Professor Bravo laughed - out loud! - and said, "You're funny... that - that was good. That was pretty funny." Hot damn, what a night.

9 May 07

Time:

?

Money:

$28, journal and three canvas bags, The Strand.
$11, large white platter, Filene's.
$10, folding camp chair, Modell's.
$15, dinner, Milano Market.

More interesting things:

Tried to start figuring out our presentation for the party with Anne and Marisa, but in large part thanks to a visit from a friend, this effort did not last long. Anne thought she'd seen a mouse run into Professor Alpha's office, I thought she was seeing things; I had unlocked Alpha's door, answered his call to my cell (asking whether there were any crises, actually - he was thinking in party terms, but he ended up with an answer from the vermin department), and plopped down in one of his chairs to chat for a few minutes, when - zoop! - a little furry gray guy charged from under my feet, zoomed boldly across the hallway, zipped between Anne's sandal-clad feet, and (hooray) lodged himself under my desk, all of which was accompanied by some shrieking that might have been audible in Yonkers even if the phone call had been over by then. (The shrieking on Anne's part was, clearly, nothing but a well-earned expression of rodent-related startledness; on my part, I should be ashamed to say, it was helpless laughter, and I will add here that although it was less shriek and more laugh, the same thing was coming down from up north.)

Celebrated the last actual day of class by parking myself, with several fabulous friends, on an old leather couch at Panchito's. (Whoops. Guess that would be something else for the Money section.) Anyway, in an otherworldly display of gumption I refrained from ordering a margarita, opting instead for what they listed as a "Nutty Screwdriver" but which I list as "the amaretto-and-OJ concoction I cut my drinking teeth on when there was no Smirnoff Ice available" and which turned out to be the exact right choice. The weather was gorgeous; I was essentially sitting outside on a couch, minus the bugs; and I was very much enjoying the feel of graduation, even though (or maybe especially because?) I had no need for a gown. Very cool.

Learned, thanks to a phone call from the lovely Professor Alpha, that I'd passed candidacy. The question, of course, is whether someone in East Lansing or Austin would have bothered to do the same thing, and I think the answer is "no."

Spotted (after Anne pointed him out) Spiderman. He was on a fire escape across from The Strand, and he looked right at home.

8 May 07

Time:

?

Money:

?

More interesting things:

Edged around a pack of maybe fifth-graders? Sixth? I don't know; whatever they were, they were pretty little, and there were a lot of 'em occupying a rather small stretch of hallway near graduate admissions. The guy herding them around told me that they were students at a middle school, I think, and that they take them on college trips a few times a year. Of course, I told him how cool I thought that was, since it gets a lot easier to remember WHY you should think about college if you know what one LOOKS like, and he agreed; another minute of conversation revealed that he'd had the same "I know I have to go, but other than that I got nothing" experience as I had. So, in at least one respect, those are some fortunate kids.

Squeezed past the horde and popped out in the office of Professor Number Six. This was nice partly because, of course, that happens to be where the elevator is located, but also partly because it gave me the opportunity to a) harass him after he announced that he was sore from golf, b) whack him, in a Colonel-and-coffee-esque move, in exactly the shoulder he'd just complained about, and c) feel bad enough, once he'd laughingly reminded me, that I petted said shoulder. It is always, always amusing to pass through that office; you can collect goofy commentary on the beeline to the secret passage as easily and unintentionally - but far more pleasantly - as you can burrs on a beeline through a woody field.

Got swept along into a meeting, of sorts, that I hadn't really intended to... well, "inspire" sounds a little too friendly. "Rile up" might be a better way to describe it. Either way, I was on the sixth floor for something completely unrelated, I'm pretty sure, when I ran first into Liz, with whom I exchanged a few minutes of angry but choir-preaching commentary, and then into Professor Number One, with whom Liz had a meeting but who performed the abovementioned sweeping. She prefaced it with the observation that we had to figure out what to do about Liz; not until we got to her office did I understand the implied "and you and your classmates and this shitty excuse for an administration" that was meant to follow Liz's name. The discussion included the sentences, "You gave Alpha your paper? Good! Tell him I said you pass! I'll read it later!" and covered the topic of turning in a committee sheet knowing full well what I know despite the fact that, as Number One, noted, "They'll get mad." (To which I responded by letting her know that if I could fill out TEN of those sheets I'd gladly do it.) The funny thing is, I don't even know if it was the sense of mobilizing, of girding up for a battle I am champing at the BIT to fight (should it become necessary, I mean) that I liked best; in fact, I think it was actually how strikingly the unified groupness around here was illustrated that had me smiling for awhile. Of course, wolfies don't get into fights they don't need to get into, so maybe that shouldn't be a surprise. The champing at the bit part doesn't come from wanting to go at it so much as it comes from getting the teeth ready and the hackles up.

Walked back down University Place behind two guys in kilts, with, I think, a dismantled bagpipe slung over the back of one of them.

Found out my dad is pancreas-mass-free: yippee! Congratulations, Dad.

7 May 07

Time:

?

Money:

$4, usual breakfast, usual place.
$10, pretty much a usual lunch, Apple.
$40(ish?), excellent dinner, La Lanterna.

More interesting things:

Spent a pretty quiet day at my desk. Commencement exercises meant that there weren't many people around, and I was actually able to get some writing (!) done at my desk.

Got dinner with Rebecca at the abovementioned La Lanterna, a really freaking cool little place to which I will definitely be returning: dark and warm and wooden inside, a very green garden space in the back - looking up, it was ALL green, as a matter of fact, with cloaks of ivy, but the fun and incongruous part was when you kept looking up and realized the ivy clung to old brick buildings reaching up to a blue, blue sky.

6 May 07

Time:

?

Money:

$13, pancakes (delivered, thank you), Annie's.
$13, deli lunch/dinner again, Milano Market.

More interesting things:

Interrupted my candidacy paper work only when I started to get confused about whether I was in New York or Turlington Plaza: a big loud drum troop bopped along below us, and I couldn't think of anything else but fall evenings after a nice ass-kicking (of the other guys, obviously.)

5 May 07

Time:

?

Money:

$11, lunch, Milano Market.
$10, bread product dinner, one diner or another.
$40, tequila etc., East 87th.

More interesting things:

Walked to the deli past sidewalks and restaurants populated by numbered, shorts-wearing runners. It was warm and lovely, with windows opened wide, and the atmosphere was just the right kind of easy-going, late spring hubbub.

Jumped in front of a pack of well-dressed, brie-consuming young guys after one of them fell in behind me with the observation that HE was not trying to cut in line, as opposed to the even larger guy who had in fact gotten ahead of me and then, apologizing with "Oh, gosh, I'm sorry - why didn't you tell me?", pushed me even in front of his friend, who had actually gotten on line before me.

Enjoyed a great Cinco de Mayo at Marisa's. Thanks, friend.

4 May 07

Time:

?

Money:

I'm sure there was some - and now that I think about it, I'm quite sure it involved the usual place - but I was way too pissed off to keep track.

More interesting things:

Boiled, burned, smoldered, and the like. All painful, high-blood-pressure kinds of things. And that's all I remember from that day.

3 May 07

Time:

?

Money:

$75, purple polo shirt, Polo on... well, somewhere in SoHo.
$20, the usual dinner (that's scary), Blockhead's.

More interesting things:

Spotted a New York... sheriff's car? I'm trying to figure out what a sheriff might cover that city police, state police, and Port Authority police wouldn't have pretty much taken care of between them.

Contemplated the upcoming purchase of said purple polo shirt in light of the fact that there is definitely nothing like "orange and blue Fridays" here. I remember thinking that FYF instructor's comments were so cool: "Well, YOU guys don't notice, because you wear Gator stuff everyDAY, but you know, on Fridays we wear our orange and blue stuff, and it's nice." She's right - it IS nice. Nice community.

Stared, intensely, at the elevator ceiling, because I rode four floors with none other than Professor Wink himself.

Tripped, nearly, over some undergraduates staring morosely at the darkened window in a closed office door in the hallway behind my desk. It cracked me up, because of course I remember BEING that undergraduate, hoping that maybe if I knocked a little more persuasively or stuck my ear a little harder to the door, Dr. B. would magically appear.

Met Rebecca in the park for a few minutes, because it was gorgeous. (It was also too hot for long-sleeved silk shirts. But gorgeous.) Anyway, we sat on a bench near a girl in an old Gator t-shirt; she informed me, when I asked, that it was just because she liked blue, not because she had in fact gone to Florida. (Too bad for her.)

Got a nice phone call, terminating with the ever-appreciated phrase, "Thanks, babe!" I'm quite sure I'll never get tired of that.

Special Report

This is a major break in my normal approach to this journal, and I'll return to backblogging soon (this afternoon if I finish my candidacy paper.) But yesterday and today mark a major (temporary, one way or the other, but major) break in my normal approach to life in general, which is to say: usually pretty damn pleased with the world around me. I cannot remember the last time I was this furious - or insulted.

I looked at the date on my watch and realized it sounded kind of familiar; my diploma, the first one, marked as it is with the "fourth day of May, 2002," explained why - this isn't the anniversary of my bachelor's degree by date, but it is by days.

So on this fifth first-Saturday-in-May, I've woken up fuming and sit here stewing even as I work on my paper. I felt fortunate back then, and I feel fortunate now; I've always been lucky enough to anchor myself to a sense of promise I don't think everyone in the world gets to enjoy. But other dispositions float below that happy approach, ready to come to the surface when it's appropriate. One, of course, is that you don't fuck with my people. Come on and hit me, as the Sergeant Major says, but do not play around with my pack. That I've had to shape daily into a reasonable attitude, and I can handle it.

Another, however, I thought wouldn't come visible until my next interaction with used-car salesmen, whom the administration of this college are doing their best to emulate.

I do not take kindly to the bait-and-switch model, especially when I uprooted my life by 1300 miles to come and take the bait.

2 May 07

Time:

Local left (without me; it was too packed and I didn't feel like finding a more reasonable car) 0831, another one crept in 0836.

Money:

$5, yogurt-and-granola and D.P., the usual place.
$46, lunch for Anne and me, and a fraction of lunch for Professor Alpha, the Torch Club.
$0, Como pizza (because Anne was paying me back), Piola.
$4, lemon sorbet, Gristede's.

More interesting things:

Noticed this school's version of the big blue "Congratulations Gator Grads!" signs hanging from the streetlights around campus - tall purple banners shouting "Congratulations." Very classy, very cool, and very much another example of how things here are different but not really.

Heard another supervisor refer to someone else as an asshole. This is only worth recording because of the general air of great propriety surrounding the speaker, which she did not, in fact, violate too dramatically: as Anne noticed, it was the most meticulously enunciated instance of that title I've ever heard, as though there were a period in between the syllables. Very appropriate for a former English teacher.

Laughed, quietly, at the wink Professor Alpha aimed at me while he assured the Party Professor that "when you're with [me], you're in good hands, with Marisa, and Anne... good hands... don't worry..." turkey noise turkey noise turkey noise. The thing is, Party Professor is so high-strung that she actually NEEDS the turkey noises!

Invited Professor Number Seven, along with Annette, to dinner with Anne and Co. She declined, although she also added that if she didn't need to finish what she was working on she would gladly have joined us, and you could tell she meant it. The funny thing is that I still remember very well the day we decided to extend our Outback invitation to Dr. P., and how it felt like the absolute height of edginess. Once again, I'll wonder: what is the difference? Am I really so much older? I don't think so. I think it has very little to do with me at all, actually - I think it's them... these professors and their carefully cultivated, genuinely felt sense of community for all of us, not just one community for them and one for the students with some daring overlap somewhere in between. And I'm lucky.

Sat waiting for the "Co." part of Anne and Co. at the corner of Union Square and watched a very hard-core squirrel leap skyward from the tip-top of one swaying young tree to the dangling green branch of another, and as it swung back and forth you couldn't do less than to think of him as a very Tarzan-ish little guy.

Spotted also a guy in black tie. I note it here because at first I thought maybe he was a waiter or something - that seems as though it might be the most likely explanation for a middle-aged man traipsing across the bottom of the square in a tuxedo at 6:00 in the afternoon, but then I noticed his feet: heeled black velvet slippers, the epitome of elegance and so unusual I didn't believe it actually happened when I read it way back when in the 145-2.

Recalled the Metropolitan Diary story about the guy who felt bad lugging his enormous frame pack onto the subway until he saw another person drag a full-size kitchen sink in behind him. It wasn't a backpack or kitchen furnishings that caught my eye today, though - it was a fully assembled coffee table. In Florida we need things like pickup trucks for that kind of business; in New York we just need the local.

1 May 07

Time:

?

Money:

$3, D.P. and milk again, usual place.
$8, usual lunch again, usual place.
$0, coffee and a chunk of carrot cake, because Professor Alpha is a lovely guy, usual place.
$16, pad Thai, Cafetasia.

More interesting things:

Barged, accidentally, into this bizarre section of the building attached to my office's building that I hope never to see again; it involved someone shrieking like they were desperately and painfully ill, giving birth, or (as it seems to have been) an autistic kid undergoing therapy. Yeouch.

Barged, purposefully, into Professor Alpha's office. Actually, since he had not yet called my name, it may have appeared that I barged, but I am quite good at recognizing an "uhh... ahem!" of a certain tone and volume as an indication that it's time to hop to, so it was really just what I was supposed to do. Anyway, the point of summoning me in this case was that I should provide Alpha and Professor Number Four with a run-down of what was going on in terms of the whole party business, but Number Four interrupted before I got too far along: looking down at my suede Converse, "Hey, cool shoes!" (When I explained that they were my Friday shoes, Alpha helpfully pointed out that today was not, in fact, Friday: thank you very much.)

Mentioned that last night's funny guy felt a little goofy about his comments, which - of course - started a conversation about what he'd actually said. It turns out that Professor Alpha had no idea he'd been the intended beneficiary of the discussion, much less what the hell the whole point of it might have been, so as he retreated into his office he offered me one last opportunity to explain it. I decided that, in a Professor-Number-Six kind of way, it would have been too rude for me to leave it, so I got up with the intention of figuring it out as I went along - and was saved by the undergrad. Well, I think. But it doesn't really matter, because the point is that this advisee hopped in front of me, and I had a chance to hide back at my computer, which worked out well because I emailed Alpha: the Wikipedia entry for this particular gesture. He finished with the student, and then with another professor, and THEN I could hear him clicking away. I knew he'd checked it out once I saw him lean far enough back in his chair that he could catch my eye; Marisa knew it too when he thanked me for the link to the thorough explanation, including visuals.

Got Professor Alpha chatting about all kinds of things after that, including an ever-so-attractive duck-related article which he suggested I email to individual responsible for all of this to start with (whom we love, incidentally, and to whom I am eternally indebted - it's not every day you have the chance to send a link like that to a professor). That was only the start of the non-work-related conversation, though; we continued at length with extended commentary on theories regarding paper-pushers and, shortly thereafter, as he looked through the catalog to try to prove certain aspects of the theories, an announcement from Alpha that it was too bad his whole job hadn't been about these trivia-type things.

Sat at my desk, working and eating lunch as Marisa checked on cookie recipes, when the Party Professor blew past us and into Professor Alpha's office - and closed the door? Of course, Marisa and I immediately looked at each other kind of funny; I'm pretty sure we were both instantly caused to think what I said out loud: why are you closing yourselves in there when two of the people who have a pretty good idea of what's going on are out here?

Had good cause to make sure Professor Alpha got a hug today, so as he took off past me towards the printer, stopped, turned around, made a goofball face in recognition of the day's insanity, and went to leave again, I stopped him, laughing, threw my arms around him, and told him he was a nice man. Which is funny, because I think I've only taken that approach in one other situation, when the nice man in question was counseling a teenager!

Hopped on the local headed uptown, but it was obviously running behind schedule, and after just a couple of stops the conductor announced that it was going to go express. This meant we got to do one of the coolest subway-related tricks I know: rumble through local stations, relatively slowly but more than making up for the sudden drop in speed by sounding a watch-your-platform-waiting-ass "woonk! woooonk woonk!" MAN. I love it.

30 Apr 07

Time:

?

Money:

$3, morning D.P. and a little milk thing for my oatmeal, usual place.
$8, usual lunch, usual place.
$60, what I threw down in exchange for three pints of Bass, a burger, and some unknown quantity of Maker's Mark as I successfully maneuvered a quick escape, Phebe's.

More interesting things:

Laughed - quietly - at a Professor-Number-Six-style rolled "R" from Professor Alpha as he swept up to my desk. All that time he spent drawing my name out apparently spurred him to ask where I'd gotten it from, so I told him first about my mom's middle name and then about the nightclub (whereupon I very generously reminded him how my own middle name plays into that nicely); his response was - in a positive way, now, which is amusing - "Yes, it does sound like a nightclub-y sort of name."

Did a lot of things besides laugh as Professor Alpha came up behind me to ask what we were up to, started answering a question about someone I couldn't find for our list, and then kneeled on the floor right next to me, like he was doing a Queen Anne's Salute. Well, except for the part where he was also leaning into my chair, and, consequently, ME - that would not score any points with the drill judges, of course, but it worked out fine as far as I was concerned. He added to it a minute later when, after getting up (which he did with remarkable grace; my legs would have been falling off and even if I managed to get up without holding the desk I probably would have dropped right back down) and yoinking my pen right out of my hand, he proceeded to wind himself all over my desk in such a way that if I had tried to move back we would have been knotted up: a fine morning indeed.

Spotted Professor Number Six outside the Usual Place, where I got another rolled "R" and, probably more importantly but not any more pleasantly, an okay to miss the first part of class for my meeting. I'm noting it here mainly because a) it's unusual to run into a professor with whom I'm that familiar outside a classroom building and b) I am quite fond!

Felt kind of cool in the "I love getting harassed" way during class when I pulled the evaluation envelopes out of my bag just as Professor Number Seven was getting ready to ask about them and she noted that I served as their "brain backup"; got it again when Professor Alpha mentioned that he was very proud of my lines (the ones on my logic model, which he'd watched me spend rather a lot of time drawing during his meeting last week!) (Also felt kind of cool in a "now I'm going to turn red" way when Number Seven mentioned ways that other students might be able to use said model. Weird, but nice.)

Noted, for the record, that Professor Alpha drinks Maker's on the rocks. (Instead of beer, which, as he demonstrated on Anne's husband, is not good for one's girlish figure.)

Noted, with tremendous amusement and many guffaws, for the record, that Professor Number Four drinks... Old Peculier! And Professor Alpha even made a point of spelling it out for us! So there would be no mistaking that it was the same as the infamous pub! And now, contrary to Anne's wishes, there will be no drinking with Number Four in public, because I will die. Unless I get to the Peculier - a large, large quantity of Peculier - first. Then it might be okay.

Participated in a series of amusing exchanges with Anne, including one in which we discussed how it doesn't seem like we've only known each other for eight months and another in which, less innocently but equally kindly, Anne noticed how cool my red-triangle Bass glass was, added that to what I'd told her about all my Bass drinking with a different professor, and promptly slid the fucker into my bag. (Whereupon Professor Alpha added to it by explaining how that was similar to the day he and his friends wanted to steal the glasses from Trader Vic's, but since they tried to take ALL of them, his late-leaving friends got "held for ransom" until the others brought the glasses back.) Anyway - thanks for thinking of that, Anne!

Identified, correctly, the sour but cough-syrupy shot the party organizer bought us a round of: SoCo and lime. And laughed, yet again, when I realized that for the first time in my life I had slammed a shot with a professor.

Restrained myself, barely, from completely losing control over my bladder, thanks to Patrick and some fascinating question-and-not-really-answer about a certain rude hand gesture. And that's all I'm going to say about that.

Answered Professor Alpha's question about whether I was really going to walk with him to the train station in a drunkenly content voice, and then held his bag after he responded to my nod etc. with "Okay, then hold my bag while I go pee." You cannot make these things up. Or if you could, I'm glad I didn't have to - this was all quite real. Anyway, we walked up to Astor Place (although, once we were about halfway there, Alpha noted that it probably would have been closer to go to Bleecker; he added, a second later, and very accurately, that "Well, we're drunk, so the walk is probably good for us,") starting with a series of just-this-side-of-out-of-control giggles as we considered whether it was yet time to cross the street. It continued from there, he (apparently) made his train, and I sat laughing to myself all the way home, except for the small periods of time when I remembered that it must have made me look like a nutcase. Which is also very accurate. But I try to keep that among my people - no need to scare members of the general public.

29 Apr 07

Time:

?

Money:

$13, pancakes ordered in, Annie's.
$11, prosciut' again, Milano Market.
$20, an okay chicken salad, with Woodchuck to improve it, Ship of Fools.

More interesting things:

Worked. All day. Again. But this was a very good thing, because all my notes are pulled, all my sources are cited, and the only(?) thing left is to wind those notes into some kind of actual human-like sentences to go with the ones mid-December saw me craft so carefully (at first) and then so exhaustedly (at 6:00 the next morning.) So we'll see.

28 Apr 07

Time:

?

Money:

$11, omelet and coffee, Highlands (I think.)
$11, prosciut' sandwich, Milano Market.
$?, dinner, because I can't remember.

More interesting things:

Left the house for only a few minutes, at which point I spotted a car near the corner with a New York plate and a Deel plate holder - shades of Harrison Ford Ranger!

Worked the rest of the day, except for the part where I really, really needed to take a small nap in my chair. I guess the mono has infected the muscle between my ears along with everything else on me.